"I'm trying to let you hear me as I am..."

{Consolidate}

2009-04-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

con⋅sol⋅i⋅date –verb (used with object)

1. to bring together (separate parts) into a single or unified whole; unite; combine.

I have decided to consolidate my blogs. I feel like during certain seasons of time I neglect my personal blog and other seasons I neglect my photo blog. I think I have kept them separate because I get nervous when I think about people who read my "professional" photo blog being able to see the boring-ness, and normalcy of my personal life. But let's be honest...who cares? I want to be real with everyone, so I am okay with this choice to "consolidate". So from now on, all of my blogging, personal and professional will take place HERE!!!

Just an update...

2009-04-06T13:03:00.000-07:00

I don't really have anything exciting to update this with, but I feel like I need to write on here, so that all of you out there in internet land don't think I have disappeared.

I spent the weekend in Dallas with mom, Mary and Julia. Mom and Mary went to a women's conference on Friday night and Saturday and I played nanny to Julia. I decided after this weekend that I am WAY to selfish to have children. I mean, I'm sure I will have them someday and I look forward to that season in my life, but at this point in life, I am sooooo not ready to be a mommy. Geez...EVERYTHING reevolved around Julia this weekend and although she is the sweetest baby ever, I was exhausted. So to all of you mothers out there in internet land...hats off to you!

That's all I got right now. Hop over and check out my photography blog for the latest pictures:)

Mini Sessions

2009-03-26T11:35:00.000-07:00

Check it out...tell your friends!
(click on the photo to see it larger)

St. Patrick's Day!

2009-03-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

Out of curiosity, I googled "St. Patrick". I mean, where did all of this "Kiss Me I'm Irsih" and green beer celebration come from. It's so random.

Turns out...St. Patrick was a pretty neat guy. His story is very similar to Paul's. Patrick was born in the year 373 in a town on the River Clyde in Roman Britain, now a part of Scotland. When he was sixteen years old, Patrick was captured by a band of pirates who sold him to a chieftain in Northern Ireland. For six years he tended flocks. In his testimony he says, “I was taken captive before I knew what I should desire and what I should shun.” It was during the time of his captivity that he came to a saving knowledge of Christ Jesus.

Years later, like the Apostle Paul, he received a clear and personal call from the Lord to preach the Gospel in the land of where he had once been held captive...Ireland.

He said, "I did not go to Ireland of my own accord. not until I had nearly perished; but this was rather for my good, for thus was I purged by the Lord; and He made me fit so that I might be now what was once far from me that I should care and labour for the salvation of others, whereas then I did not even care about myself."

The story of St. Partrick is a beautiful story about transformation and sacrifice. Click Here to read more.

Bath Time!!!!

2009-03-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo good at giving Julia a bath...ask Mary:) She smells so yummy and is so cute and cuddly and happy after a bath, I just had to share!

Sunshine and Wisdom

2009-03-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

I have been pretty busy lately, but definitely not socially. I feel like I have been buried in work; photography, planning a girl’s conference, building my website, and a few other random odd jobs. I enjoy having a project, but I have to keep reminding myself not to miss out on life and what God has for me in the every day moments and not just spend all my time planning ahead (yes, I realize that is a common thing for me to blog about).

Anyways, Sunday morning I was not feeling very well, so I skipped church…I know, I know. I staying in bed for a long time and then realized it was a beautiful day outside, so I brought a blanket, pillow, and my Bible to the back yard and soaked up some sunshine and wisdom.

I have been reading through Proverbs and I keep highlighting verses that all seem to have a common theme…Godly counsel. Obviously, it’s something I need to be learning. The whole book of Proverbs keeps reminding me that leaning on my own fleshly wisdom will only bring chaos to my life. I am so thankful for the people that God has placed in my life to be my godly counsel. I realize what a rare thing it is to have even one person in your life that you can trust to tell you the Truth and point out to you the lies that you believe and I have WAY more than one of those people in my life. I am so blessed to have been given such a precious gift that I do not ever want to take for granted. I want to cherish and protect it.

Just a few of the verses that have been on my mind this week.

Proverbs 4:13 Take hold of instruction: do not let it go. Guard her for she is your life.

Proverbs 11: 14 Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.

Proverbs 15:5 A fool rejects his fathers wisdom, but he who regards reproof is sensible.

Proverbs 15:22 Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed.

Proverbs 17:10 A rebuke goes deeper into the one who has understanding, than a hundred blows into a fool.

Okay, maybe I have had a LITTLE social interaction recently. Saturday night I went to what I was told was a crawfish boil….I think it was more like a crawfish tasting. They had boiled about 10 lbs of crawfish for like 15 people. Only one other person besides me had even tried them before, so it was fun to see everyone’s reaction. One girl brought her own food from Sonic, another girl was super brave and tried sucking a head, and my favorite quote from the evening was from this HUGE guy when I told him to get some more he replied, “Well, I already had two!” (as thought that was overindulging).

Logo!

2009-03-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

Pasted from my photography blog:

As you can see, Nathan is done with my logo and I absolutely LOVE it, so if you don't like it...keep it to yourself. If you don't already know Nate, you should check out his music and catch a show if you're in the San Antonio area. http://www.natedavenport.com/ Yes, he's a graphics/web designer and a musician. I'm pretty sure his music is his true passion, but I for one am grateful that he's a man of many talents. Thanks Nate!

Reasons to Frown...

2009-03-07T17:40:00.000-08:00

Well, the economy has been going downhill for a while now, but today was the first time it has affected my regular life and activities. I drove up to my FAVORITE coffee place, Texas Coffee, to get a warm beverage and I found that they had shut down. WHAT?!?!?! I loved this place. It was decorated really rustic with that good ol' West Texas feel to it. They had t-shirts that said "Friends don't let friends drink Starbucks." I love the idea of giving my money to small, local businesses (but I have nothing against Starbucks). Texas Coffee reminded me a lot of the coffee shop I used to work at in Boerne (The Daily Grind) and I think that's what I liked most about it, although the country music and free wireless internet didn't hurt either. I miss you, Texas Coffee:(...that's why I'm frowning.

Another reason this week brought a frown was that I had to go to see a urologist here in San Angelo. I have been having severe kidney pain for about a month now, so I decided it was time to get it checked out. I took this pic while I was waiting in the doctor's office to hear the result of the tests we ran. No infection. My kidney is functioning very well. The new doctor says my pain is caused by scar tissue and there isn't anything he can do to treat it (besides pain management). Since I definitely don't want to live my life on pain meds, I'll be sucking it up...so sometimes I frown:(

GOOD

2009-03-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

I'm learning more and more how Good God is. I say it a lot, but sometimes you forget the reality of it. He is Good when things are fabulous. He is Good when things suck. He is Good when things just are, and nothing seems to be happening. He IS GOOD!

Weekend Adventures

2009-03-01T19:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I was ready for a quiet weekend alone since I have been out of town so much lately, but that actually didn't happen.

Friday night Mary. Rebekah, another friend and I went to the San Angelo Rodeo! It was awesome! I am used to the San Antonio Rodeo which is HUGE. This one was so much smaller, but just as good of a show. My favorite thing was that there was a 5 year old barrel racer. She fell off her hourse in the middle, but got back on and finished. It was awesome!

Yesterday, Mary and I (and Julia) made a spontaneous trip to Abiline. We just did a little shopping. Even though I had planned on a quiet day at home, it was nice to spend the day with them. Julia was soooo much fun! She keeps getting funnier and funnier:)

Here are a few pictures from Disciple Now in Boerne last weekend.

More than an 8 Second Ride!

2009-02-17T20:58:00.000-08:00

I met up with Lisa and Katie for a little rodeo action. It was so much fun to spend time with them AND take part in one of my favorite things about Texas. I also had three photo shoots this weekend. If you follow my photography blog, then you should check out the latest post "SNEAK PEAK"!

RSS Feeds

2009-02-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

I know that John Ryan suggested a LLOOONNGG time ago on his blog that we should all subscribe to RSS feeds to manage all of the blogs that we read, but I hadn't gotten around to it until tonight. It took me what felt like FOR-E-VER to get subscribed to all of them, but 44 blogs later...I'm set. No more checking all of these blogs randomly to see who has updated. Google Reader tells me! I love you Google Reader. You are my friend.

Logo Action

2009-02-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

I am SUPER excited about my new logo that is in the works. I just got an email from my friend who is designing it and I'm pumped about the progress we are making! I can't wait to show it to you guys! But for now...patience.

Connie!

2009-02-09T07:11:00.000-08:00

I am blown away....how adorable/amazing is this little girl?

*If you can't get it to play, then go to this link
http://www.tagtele.com/videos/voir/7383/1/

LOST Nickname

2009-02-08T20:07:00.001-08:00

So, today, I'm chatting on Facebook with one fo my students in Boerne (who I used to watch LOST with when I lived there). She tells me to go to abc.com and fill out a survey and get a nickname from Sawyer...this is the result. uh...weird.

John Michael Tooker

2009-02-06T06:46:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that Dave is a daddy! I love it. John Michael is just perfect.

P.S. No, I wasn't there for his birth. I stole this picture off of Dave's Facebook page!

Women's Retreat!

2009-02-05T14:21:00.000-08:00

It's official. Mindy submitted my registration form today. I will be joining 4 of my favorite women for a weekend retreat in Fredricksburg, TX in March. I'm excited! I love these ladies!

Seasons

2009-02-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

I find myself thinking every day, “I can’t wait for summer! I can’t wait to wear flip flops and tank tops every day! I can’t wait to be tan again!” I love summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It got me to thinking about how many times in my life I have been discontent in the season I am in…just waiting in anticipation for what’s to come.

I vividly remember when I was going to private school in the 3rd grade and I would get so angry everyday because the 6th graders would always cut the line in 4 Square during recess, but there was nothing we could do about it. I remember saying, “I can’t wait until I’m in the 6th grade.”

Then of course there was the season of life when all of my friends had their driver’s license, but I was not allowed to ride with them, so I had to be dropped off by my parents (embarrassing!). I said, “I can’t wait until I can drive!”

I remember my senior year of high school. I mostly took a lot of electives to avoid graduating early, so I could play basketball one more year. Once basketball season was over, I thought every single day, “I can’t wait until I’m done with school!”

Then there was the “I can’t wait until summer camp starts!” phase after the hill.

Then the “ I can’t wait until I get a job and start making some real money!”, then “I can’t wait until I get a better job than this one!”, etc. etc.etc…..

I don’t’ think there is anything wrong with anticipating what God has for us next

“However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" 1 Corinthians 2:9

But I also think that there is a lot be said for being content in the here and now. Instead of praying that the next “season” will come sooner, I will start praying that I will be able to soak up every moment in this season, knowing that I am being prepared for the season to come.

The Science of Seduction: Why Him, Why Her?

2009-01-29T08:04:00.001-08:00

Last night, when we were watching LOST, a commercial came on for this 20/20 Episode. Jill, Rebekah, and I decided that we are going to try to watch it Friday, and analyze/make fun of it. Here is the review from the website. If I get to watch it, I'll post my own personal review.

ABC News: The Science of Seduction: Why Him, Why Her?

(This is a video)

It's a simple question made difficult because a lifetime of commitment rides on the answer. And how we arrive at this sought-after moment is one of the most complicated mysteries of our lives. How do we find love? Or more important, what exactly is love? Why do we feel it for one person and not another?

Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher has devoted a lifetime of research to these questions, and now she believes she has found some of the answers.

"I feel as if I've stumbled into Mother Nature's kitchen and found some of her recipes," Fisher said.

Veggie Quesadillas!!

2009-01-29T07:19:00.000-08:00

Last night Rebekah made the most delicious and healthy dinner EVER.

She grilled mushrooms, bell pepper, zuchinni, and tomatoes. I think she said she added a little Mrs. Dash to it.

Then she put some Hummus on a Tomato Basil Tortilla, added the veggies, and grilled.

It was soooooo good and juicy!

Internet, you should make this for dinner tonight!

P.S. I cannot wait for the weekend.

Here and Now...

2009-01-28T07:07:00.000-08:00

Last weekend bethany and I headed to Snyder, Texas to be leaders for Disciple Now at the Baptist Church there. It was super fun getting to hang out with 8th grade girls. It made me miss Boerne and hanging with the awesome students there. Here are some pictures from our weekend.

There was this AWESOME coffee shop that was right across the street from the church. We went there twice. Seriously, I would move to Snyder just for that coffee shop. It was amazing.

...you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost...

2009-01-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning kind of sad. I don't know why...or maybe I do. Anyways...I went to leave a little coment on my friend Holly's facebook page and she had posted this comment. It was exactly what I needed to read.

"Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything." -Mother Teresa

Praying for patience...

She's A Beautiful Disaster

2009-01-23T07:25:00.000-08:00

Well, yesterday's "beautiful day for pictures" turned out to be a disaster. I got off of work LATE! We tried to catch some good light, but when we got to the park there were AWFUL stickers everywhere. We were determined to get a few shots and here's the result. In case you were wondering...yes, Julia is still cute.

This one was an accident...not the baby, the picture! Geez!

I posted this same thing on my photography blog, but the photo's are much larger. Check it out, Mares!

I Got A Pocket Full of Sunshine!!

2009-01-22T11:31:00.001-08:00

Dear Internet,

Today is beautiful!! I'm pretty sure some pictures will be taken today, so be looking for them in the near future.

I don't really make New Year's resolutions. This year I did decide that I would like to read at least one book per month. Not so much a resolution as much as just a goal. So far, this month I have read two books and it would probably have been more, but I have been studying this HUGE booklet of teaching material for the DNOW that I am a leader for this weekend. I think I can finish one more before the month is over:) That makes me happy. I suppose once you actually state that you are setting a goal, then you HAVE to make it a priority. I have made reading a priority and I love it!

In August, when I moved back to San Angelo and when school started, one of the Senior girls from my weekly Bible Study asked me if I would study a book of the Bible with her (via email). It has been really encouraging to receive emails each week from her sharing all of the things that God is teaching her as she studies verse by verse. It has also been an outlet for me, since I don't do very much Bible teaching here in Angelo.

As for my photography, things are going well...better than I expected. I already have 2 photo shoots in February. I told myself when I started this "If I can just do 1 or 2 shoots a month, I will be happy!" So, yeah, it's looking good! I made a little trade with a friend of mine who is a graphic designer/musician. he's working on designing me a logo and I am going to take some pictures for him. Sweet Action! I also started up a facebook group, hoping that it would at least get me a little more exposure, and in one week I have 219 members!

Last paycheck, I recieved a pay raise. I knew I was supposed to be getting one after 3 months, but no one said anything, so I thought I was going to have to being it up....but on pay day I was informed that my check would reflect my raise!

Hmm...what else? Oh! My friend, Jordan, is giving me her Ipod. I know, Internet, you're thinking..."What?!?! You don't have an Ipod?!?!" Yes, I am finally going to emerge from the dark ages and have an Ipod! Thanks Jordan!!! I also, just recently bought 1 gig of ram for my computer. So hopefully it won't take me a lifetime to edit pictures on my freaking slow computer. John Ryan said I should see a HUGE improvement....he BETTER be right....or else...:)

Well, Internet, I promised you a lengthy post. I don't have any picture to add, but like I said....it's a beautiful day...who knows?

Until next time...

LOST Season FIVE!!!!

2009-01-21T14:03:00.000-08:00

It's all I can think about....this is bad...and AWESOME!!!!

Coming Soon!!

2009-01-21T13:21:00.000-08:00

I realized yesterday that I have not blogged in a long time (or a long time for me). So I figured if I post on here that I will be writing a long, informative post soon...then I will have to do it. So, I PROMISE that I will write a post before the weekend!! If I don't do it, all of you readers have permission to give me a kick in the butt.

Rebekah

2009-01-11T09:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I asked Rebekah to help me out by posing for some pictures. I have a session today with a family at this same location and I wanted to be prepared. It's a great place and we got a lot of great shots!

2009-01-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

Check out the latest photos at

http://www.photographyrachelrenee.blogspot.com/

2009 Baby!!

2009-01-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

New Years Eve I went to a party in Austin at my friends , Thomas and Ashley's, house. It was lots of fun! Especially the moon bounce! I set up a little photo booth area, so my camera was on a tripod the whole night. These are the only pitures I have :)

Sillyness!

2008-12-30T07:05:00.000-08:00

This post is really random. I just wanted to put up some pictures of my FABULOUS niece!! I made her a huge red flower headband and it is WAY more obnoxious than I thought, so she won't be wearing it ever again. HAHA! So here is my little tribute to the CUTEST baby in the WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Photos!

2008-12-29T07:29:00.000-08:00

Check out the latest photos on my photography blog.
www.photographyrachelrenee.blogspot.com

"Do you like coffee?"

2008-12-24T07:38:00.000-08:00

My boss calls me first thing this morning from his house (I'm at work) and asks, "Rachel, do you like coffee?" I explained to him that bringing me coffee was not going to make up for making me work on Christmas Eve and he goes, "I wasn't going to bring you coffee." OUCH!!

He then goes on to tell me that he is thinking of buying the office a Christmas gift and wants me to do some research on this product he has heard about called "TASSIMO".

After doing the research, I think it's a marvelous idea....I hope he agrees with me.

New Post on Photo Blog

2008-12-17T12:52:00.001-08:00

Check out my latest post at www.photographyrachelrenee.blogspot.com

Cat Nabbing!!!

2008-12-10T11:55:00.000-08:00

Bethany, Benj, and I have gone into business together. It's only temporary. My boss has a colony of feral cats in his yard that he feeds twice a day. he really loves these cats, but he wants them to stop multiplying. He is willing to pay a pretty penny to the person/s that catch every last one of these cats and has them spayed/nuteured. I have been pretty much worthless because I am always at work, but collectively we have trapped 8 cats (there are 16-17 all together). That means we are half way there!!!

Benj has been very clever in his cat nabbing, please see folowing photos.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2008-12-10T07:42:00.000-08:00

First of all...can I just say that sometimes my job isn't so bad, esspecially when I spend half the day wrapping things from Tiffany's.

This past weekend I went to MO Ranch with FBC Boerne for their winter student leadership retreat. It was fabulous to get to hang out with all of the students that I miss and love!

A little nertz action...

An injury on the Ultimate Frisbee field...

Awesome ladies...Katherine, Sarah Anne, and Lindsey.

Last night Bethany and I met up with some great girls, Georgia and Kallie, for warm drinks and Christmas lights. Afterwards we watched 'Fred Kalus'!!

Thanksgiving!

2008-12-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

I just thought I would post some picture from out weekend in Louisisana for Thanksgiving.

Papa and his girls!

Papa and Julia bonding

Julia meets Paw Lawrence and Ma Tena for the first time.

I spent Wednesday night with my cousin, Sarah!!

"Are we in a fight?"

2008-12-03T14:01:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been crying out to God about all of the things that I do not understand. These "discussions" seem to always end in me yelling, "JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME!!" and Him whispering..."Just know me."

“The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist…” Acts 17:24-28

Is this a God worth getting to know? I think so.

"...everybody's playing cuz school's out!..."

2008-11-25T13:39:00.000-08:00

Well, it's that time of year. We will be in Louisiana for Thanksgiving. It is a tradition for our family to decorate the tree the day after Thanksgiving, but since we won't be home we decided to decorate our tree last night. Really, I didn't do a whole lot. I just made sure the we kept the Christmas music playing and I enjoyed milk and cookies with Kallie (the Christmas Kitty!) and watched everyone else decorate. That's my style!

Check out the Christmas Stocking that mom bought for me this year!! I LOVE IT!!

BONE SHAKER!!

2008-11-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

November 20, 1866 - The rotary-crank bicycle was patented by Pierre Lallement in Paris, France. The bike, incidentally, was known as the bone shaker.

As a 19-year-old maker of baby carraiges in France in 1862, Lallement saw someone ride by on a "dandy horse”, and would have been inspired to build one of his own, but with the addition of a transmission comprised of a rotary crank mechanism and pedals attached to the front-wheel hub, succeeding in creating the first true bicycle.

If you're like me, when you read that your first questions was..."What the heck is a dandy horse"??? So I did more research...

The dandy horse, German for "running machine", was invented by Baron Karl von Drais in Germany, patented in January 1818.
The dandy-horse was a two-wheeled vehicle, with both wheels in-line, propelled by the rider pushing along the ground with the feet as in regular walking or running. The front wheel and handlebar assembly was pivoted to allow steering.

Obviously I have too much free time at work, so I read about random stuff like this.......

Run, Run!

2008-11-18T11:22:00.000-08:00

So, the 5k is finally over with. I was proud of myslef for accomplishing it, but I will probably never do another one...jsut not my thing. I ran it in under 40 minutes (which is still slow), but at least I didn't end up having to walk the whole thing. Jordan and I were not taking it very seriously at all. The announcer guy kept calling me "smiley" and was like, "we'll see if she's still smiling when it's over". I WAS!

Dixie Darlin'

2008-11-18T08:56:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Boerne! It was a good trip. It seems that everytime I go there, I stay up late and wake up early. I am always exhausted from trying to see everyone, but I love seeing everyone. What to do?

I ran into Genevieve and she invited me to her birthday dinner Sunday night, so I go to visit with some old "hill" friends which was fun! Rachelle is back in Texas ("She always comes at just the right time." - Jody Miles) for a little while, which was a surprise to me. Good times with old friends.

Mason decided to come to town the same weekend as I did so that we could spend some time with our family group. I absolutely love those kids. There were a few students who weren't in our group, but we brought 'em along on our crazy scavenger hunt around Boerne anyway :)

Yesterday, when I was at the bank, I saw a dog running around in the parking lot. After making lots of phone calls and trying to find her owner, I decided to bring her home to the family :0) I call her Dixie. She's really sweet, but she keeps getting out of the yard, so today I had to call the Animal Shelter to come and pick her up because I couldn't let her keep getting out and get hit by a car.

2008-11-14T08:06:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Boerne for the weekend. My reason? Well, if I have to have a reason...it's because I'm running a 5K in San Antonio...but I don't want to talk about that...gross! The thing is...making this trip to Boerne isn't nearly as taxing on my budget as it has been the past couple fo times, due to THIS....

I filled up this morning for $26.00. That ain't bad!! :) Have a great weekend...I'll let you all know how terrible the race goes when I get back.

Out of Meet...

2008-11-13T12:33:00.001-08:00

Okay, so one of the photographers that I stalk posted this on her blog...I couldn't resist passing it on. This photo was taken outside of a fast food restraunt in Louisiana...oh the good ol', dirty South:0)

2008-11-13T07:53:00.000-08:00

Today in History - November 13, 1913 - Mary Phelps Jacobs invents modern bra. After tiring of barbaric corsets with whaleback bones and steel rods, Mary Phelps Jacobs, a New York socialite, took two silk handkerchiefs and some pink ribbon and fashioned herself the very first backless bra. She used the natural bias of the silk to provide the elasticity.

I don't have a spiritual analogy for this one...just thought I should give a little shout out to Mary Phelps Jacobs!! Whoop Whoop!

I Made a Big Mistake

2008-11-12T07:42:00.000-08:00

You know how when most people take a personality test, they are sometimes a little bit of each personality, or they're mostly one but have some of the traits fo another. Not me. I am always 100%, cookie cutter "choleric", "Type A", or "Red".

"A dominant Red score indicates life’s experiences must make sense to
you. You are logical, practical and do not display emotions easily. Because of your desire for structure, you seek control of both your environment and people, and are sometimes seen by others as domineering. You are punctual and may become irritated if you think your time is being wasted. A natural leader, you are driven by the need for power and control. What stresses you is lack of organization and last minute changes."

I keep trying to make sense of the events that have been occuring in my life. I keep trying to see the result. I don't care about how the result is obtained, I just want to get to the end. I don't finish books, because I think I "already know how it is going to end." I am not a very good listener because I think "I already know what you're going to say."

On November 1st University of Texas played Texas Tech (huge rivalry game). I watched a little bit of it, but I stopped watching at half time when the score was Tech,22/UT,3. No need to "waste" my time when I knew how it would end. The next day I told my boss (who was at the game) that I turned it off at half time and his response was "You made a big mistake...you missed a really exciting game." You see, UT came back in the 2nd half making the score UT,33/Tech,32. Yes, Tech did score with 1:26 on the clock and WON the game, so the result was the same whether I participated or not, but I missed it. Not too big of a deal, but it just got me to thinking about how many other "exciting" things I miss out on because I think it's a waste of my time. I have never really taken the time to enjoy the "process."

Charles Spurgeon said: "Give God credit for knowing some things that you don't."

I am learning more and more about the character of God and seeing that He is VERY interested in the details and the process...its called SANCTIFICATION. Yes, I know how it ends...I am made perfect and complete, lacking nothing. But becoming like Jesus is a process...and it's a process that I have been predestined for. "For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren." -Romans 8:29

I am realizing that it is harder for me to trust Jesus in the day to day stuff, than it is for me to trust Him through huge trials and challenging events. Because I usually get to see the end of the BIG things, its the little things that I "don't see the point" and my personality says that my time is being wasted. I'm learning...learning to find joy in the process.

I don't want to miss anymore "exciting games."

P.S. Sorry that this post was so long and there were no pictures AND i used a million quotations and lots of bad grammar and sentences with too many and's in them:) Welcome to writer's hell!!! ((muaahhahaha))

All alone...

2008-11-11T13:46:00.000-08:00

Don't even act like she isn't the cutest thing you've ever seen, sitting all by herself!

Tomorrow Is Another Day...

2008-11-06T08:49:00.000-08:00

"Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?"
Isaiah 43:18-19

I often find myself wishing for the "good ol' days" again. I think sometimes I spend so much time thinking about what used to be and how I miss it, that I miss out on the things that the Lord is doing NOW. The Lord is working...and instead of seeking Him with every fiber of my being to be aware of the things He is doing, I just keep asking why things aren't the way they used to be, or the way I want them to be or expected them to be.
I know that my God is good and everything He does is GOOD. So, even though things aren't the way I thought they'd be, or things don't seem to be as good as they at one time were. I will continue to surrender. I will continue to be obedient. I will continue to fix my eyes on Him, if only for a glimpse of what is to come....I want to be aware of the new things and not be so focused on the "OLD". Tomorrow is another day...another opportunity to surrender!

2008-11-03T07:56:00.000-08:00

I recently set up a website where people can view and order their pictures online after I take them. Makes everyones life easier. It is still kind of under construction. I have a friend working on making a logo for me, then I will be able to make it look better. For now, check it out and tell me what you think...
www.rachelrenee.printroom.com

I had a family session Saturday night, those photos are on my photography blog,
www.photographyrachelrenee.blogspot.com
Check 'em out!

2008-10-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

...and it felt good.

The other day I came home for lunch and this is what I found on my couch...

What could be better?

Just a little survey to pass the time...

2008-10-30T14:13:00.000-07:00

• I AM … blessed.
• I WANT… to be able to bless others.
• I HAVE … to kill another hour at work with nothing to do.
• I KEEP … telling myself I am going to read more.
• I WISH I COULD … hold my bundle (niece) all the time!!
• I HATE … a lot of things…but my lack of discipline in particular.
• I FEAR … living with my parents my whole life:)
• I HEAR … Randy Rogers “RollerCoaster” (I’m listening to the radio on my computer)
• I DON’T THINK … I’m easy to get along with.
• I REGRET … paying my bills with credit cards.
• I LOVE … TEXAS!!
• I AM NOT … getting in shape like I said I would.
• I DANCE … badly.
• I SING … all the time!!!
• I NEVER … say never.
• I RARELY … try new things without freaking out.
• I CRY WHEN I WATCH … uhhh…I can’t think of an answer for this one.
• I AM NOT ALWAYS … gentle…I’m working on that.
• I HATE THAT … I don’t spend as much time with Jesus as I need to.
• I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … WHY God brought me here (San Angelo). I know He did, without a doubt, but why?
• I NEED … God’s grace…every moment.
• I SHOULD … stop blogging and do something productive.

Abigail

2008-10-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

I babysat this little darling last week and took some pictures if her. Such a cutie! There are more on my photography blog.

2008-10-22T08:14:00.001-07:00

I saw this video on someone else's blog and wanted to share it. I think a lot of people are not really understanding what these candidates are saying they stand for.

Sweet Bundle

2008-10-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

Couldn't resist putting up a couple of pictures of my bundle (neice Julia). What a little sleeping beauty;)

"So Long Sweet Summer"

2008-10-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

I took this picture outside of work the other day. There were like twenty butterflies. I wish I could have stayed longer to take more pictures, but I was in a hurry to get to the bank. Since then, it has been pretty darn cold when I leave to go to work in the morning. I think this was one of the last little glimpses of summer I'm gonna get this year. Bring on sweater weather!!

"I did not come to bring peace...but division."

2008-10-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

"Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three.They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law." - Luke 12:51-53

I have been thinking about this passage a lot lately. I guess the reality that , no matter how much peace my relationship with Christ brings to my life, the cross of Christ also brings division. Its hard to accept that there are people who we love that we cannot have unity with because of the boundaries that we are called to set for ourselves and our families. It is painful, yet so worth it. He is worthy, so I will carry this cross. I will sacrifice these things/relationships that I wish to hold dear, because He sacrificed ALL for me. Not without pain, but with overwhelming peace!! If only everyone could know this peace!!!

2008-10-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, sorry for the song lyrics again, but I was listening to this on the way to work this morning and my eyes filled with tears. Geez! HaHa! It felt like the words were coming straight from my heart (esspecially the ones in BOLD). I have more to write, but I have work to do...later.

ALL FOR LOVE - Hillsong

All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For love was crucified

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

All for a love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw man to You

(I took out the lyrics that are repeated to shorten it:)

Photography

2008-10-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

So I set up a Blog with some of my photography, so that people could see if they like it before they get me to their Christmas pictures. Check it out and feel free to leave me comments or suggestions. Its a pretty simple set up, I'm not good at building cool looking sites.

http://www.photographyrachelrenee.blogspot.com

2008-10-10T12:53:00.001-07:00

My Papa (mom's dad) had a heart attack Wednesday night and was air lifted to the hospital in Baton Rouge, LA. He was in ICU until just a few moments ago. Please pray for his recovery and for the Lord to work in his life and family. My mom is there. My Dad will be making a trip in a few days to help get their home repaired. The recent bad whether flooded their home and Papa was planning to do the repair work himself. Obvisously, he will not be able. So, Dad is going to do what he can to help. Just a little update.

New Hobby!!!

2008-10-08T11:57:00.000-07:00

So, with A LOT of coaxing from my mom, I am going to try something new. We all know that I DO NOT like new things. I like to stick to what I know. But, my whole family (and others) have been encouraging me to spend more time photographing. I have always liked it, but don't know a whole lot about photography. I mean, I have taken some pictures for some couples, families, and seniors. But I would never call myself a photographer. I REALLY want a nice camera and maybe take a few classes, so that I can develope my skills and maybe one day I could call myself that.

Anyways, my mom said that she has quite a few friends who might be interested in having me take their family pictures for Christmas cards and such. I think she sent out an email to all of her friends, so we'll see. If I could do that and charge next to nothing, maybe I could start to save for a good camera and be able to pay for some photography classes.

So, I guess this means I'm gonna have a hobby! Hopefully people will be willing to settle for an amateur taking their photos. :)

Anyways, just a little update on something new in my life. If you know anyone who wants Christmas pictures send 'em my way. I'm cheap!

I COME BOLDLY!!!!!!

2008-10-06T09:40:00.000-07:00

If you keep up with my blog you will notice that I post song lyrics quite often. I just really seem to respond to words put to music. there's just something about a good song. I have really been encouraged by this song the past few weeks. I listen to it over and over again in my car. And sing REALLY loud in worship...all alone. That's just me.

Boldly To Your Throne
© Steven Patterson; Rooted Publishing 2006 ASCAP

High priest, who passed through the heavens
Gaining me entrance to Your Father’s ear
High priest, with the final sacrifice
You tore the curtains into pieces
And proved Your love

So I come boldly, boldly to Your throne
Confident in Christ alone
I come boldy, boldly to Your throne
Knowing Your grace is greater
Than anything I could ever need

High priest, You know my weakness
And pleads to God on my behalf
High priest, You know my failures
Tempted more than I, but endured

You can listen to it at:
http://www.branchmusic.org/
Just click music and then the song title.

2008-10-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

Some of the girls I used to teach Bible Study for in Boerne came to visit me this past weekend. It was lots of fun! I miss them. They are Seniors this year and I am sad that I am missing their last year of high school, so it was great to get to be a part of a fun memory (Roadtrip to Russo's) that they hopefully will treasure. I know I will!

We wanted to go to the Randy Rogers concert at the Riverstage, but it was SUPER expensive, so we watched from outside the gate. Turned out to be WAY better than you would think!!

Julia Grace Beaver

2008-09-11T19:42:00.000-07:00

I am completely exhausted right now because I was awake all night last night welcoming my beautiful niece into the world. I am at a loss for word because I just want to sleep but I wanted to share pictures.

"I'm Busted..."

2008-09-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

So, my family has been going through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and I have gotten on a strict budget. I think it will be good for me. I hate money. I avoid messing with it at all costs. But sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Its funny because he talks about how different personalities handle money. And my family keeps telling me that I am a free spirit (not focused, irresponsible, just wants to have fun)...and if you were only looking at my finances, it would appear that way. But in most areas of my life, I am the responsible, controlled individual. I think it is because I don't enjoy trying new things. I like to stick to what I'm good at. Because handling money has been an area of failure in the past for me, I think I have just given up and approached it with an attitude of "whatever". But that's not typically my approach to life, so I am going to do better. I am going to face my fears and conquer them.

I WILL GROW!

"...what I like about Texas..."

2008-09-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

So, its Friday! Its been a little slow in the office, so I may or may not have spent a little time on ebay. The thing is...I have no money...so shopping with no money kind of sucks...but a girl can dream can't she?
Wanna see the awesome shirts that I would buy if I did have money?

I love ebay.com!!...and TEXAS!

"Trading all that I have...for all that is BETTER!"

2008-09-03T13:51:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have just been so disgusted with myself at how quickly I can quench the Holy Spirit's work in my life. I will be worshiping in my car on the way home from work, singing "break my heart for what breaks Yours" and guenuinely mean it, then 20 minutes later I snap at a family member for something stupid. Seriously?

I find myself begging the Lord to give me opportunities to love His people and to point them to their Creator, then I spend all of my time on things that will pass away.

I feel like I just can't do this abundant life thing, even though I have actually experienced it. I can't seem to REMAIN.

Ever since I got back from camp in August I have been meditating on this passage. It has been a familiar passage to me for years now, but it has really come alive these past couple of months.

Psalm 73:24-28

"You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds. "

He is ALL that I need. I WILL tell of His deeds! I'm trading everything that I think I need or just want, for the ONE things that will satisfy. My cry to the Lord is that it my desire will be only for Him, that I will need Him so desparately that it hurts when I'm not close to Him.

That's all.

"GET IN MY ARMS!!!!"

2008-09-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

So, the most exciting thing happening in my life right now, is actually proving to be really slow and boring....haha! We are STILL waiting on that little baby Beaver bundle to make her appearance. Due date is tomorrow...we shall see!

WASH ME!

2008-08-20T14:24:00.001-07:00

Check out this artist and the unusual canvas on which he creates his masterpieces.

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/photos/062706dustart/index.html

He says, "You'd be surprised how many potential canvases are ruined by some kid walking up and writing 'Wash Me' on it."

So cool.

This Warrior Is A Child

2008-08-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

For those of you who actually read this, you can be praying for me for wisdom and discernment as I make decisions about what areas of ministry I need to be plugged in to right now. I have got LOTS of options, which is great, but I want to make sure I am able to manage my time well and choose the right places...the places God wants me to serve. So start sending those prayers my way!

Things are going great in San Angelo. I am working in an office as an Administrative Assistant to a gentleman that owns quite a few banks and real estate (apartment complexes and some commercial office buildings). Pretty much the office I work in is structered to manage all of his different ventures. I actually like it a lot so far. It might get a little boring later on, but I'm sure they will just add more to my plate.

Other than job stuff, lifes been interesting. It feels weird to be living back at home. Like the past five years never happened. I haven't really figured out how I feel about it yet. I know that I am doing the right thing though. I have spent a lot of time crying out to God for direction and understanding. Last night I recalled this super OLD song that I thought really described this season in my life really well.

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while'
Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child

I am going to Boerne for a visit tomorrow and I am SUPER excited. I have only been gone 3 weeks, but it feels like a LOOOONNGG time.

Word of God Speak!

2008-08-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

So since I am retiring my old Bible, I thought I would post SOME of the quotes that I had written inside the covers of my old Bible. When someone says something that makes me think...I jot it down in the inside cover of my Bible to remember (my new Bible has a whole section in the back for notes!).

"The Bible is not a bunch of individual stories with a moral purpose. It all ties together and shows us how God has pursued a relationship with us since eternity past." - Dave Tooker

"The Bible knows nothing of worship without Jesus Christ." - Charlie McCall

"My unfaithfulness can NEVER match the faithfulness of Christ." - Kelly Doherty

A persons understanding of what the Lord has done for them can be judged by the variety of people in their life.

"Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth closed." - Ben Caudill (5 yrs old)

Eph 4:28 - "Its not about getting rid of desire, its about giving oursleves to bigger, better , more powerful desires." - Rob Bell

"Godly sorrow produces repentance." - Joel Quile

"God never wastes a tear." - Mike Harkrider

"Stop waiting fpr Jesus to do what He has told YOU to do, and stop trying to do what He says HE will do." - Bubba Stahl

"What will be the greatest event that will take place in your life this year? Will it be the glory of God manifested in your life?" - Dave McCall

"Obedience is a matter of timing and opportunity, rather than ability." - Bubba Stahl

Acts 4:19-20 - Talking about the life of Christ should be like breathing to me.

"Christ is only limited by the measure of my availability to ALL that He makes available to me." - Major Ian Thomas

"All that He is, is all that I have." - Kelly Doherty

"Change comes when the pain of staying the same is greater than the fear of changing." - Quote Lisa J. told me...not sure who said it first?

"I did not ask for success, I asked for wonder." - Abraham Joshua Heschel

My relationship with Christ should be the ONLY thing that defines who I am!

Welcome to West Texas

2008-07-31T15:10:00.001-07:00

Well, I am in San Angelo for good now. I arrived the day before yesterday and have spent the last two days applying for jobs with NO luck...not so much as a call-back. Ah well...so much for my "get a job the first day I look for one" theory.

The week before I came home I was in Colorado for Camp Chi Rho with my church. It was wonderful. I really enjoyed getting to spend lots of time with the students before moving away.
Here are some pictures from the week....

I love YOUTH! Bethany and I plan on plugging in at Paul Ann Baptist Church in the youth ministry, starting next Wednesday. I'm excited...I want to get involved as soon as possible.

Pray that I find a job SOON!!!

2008-07-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a weekend with the Russo Cousins. Fifteen of us met up at South Taledo Bend State Park and just had some good old fashioned fun (board games, cards, swimming, canoeing, and lots of eating)!!! The first night we were there we had what we called "Family Share Time" and we all went around the room and shared what we are doing with our lives. It was great to hear what everyone is up to...things I should know, but we just don't keep in touch the way we should.

On Saturday we were swimming at the beach on the lake and we experienced a tragedy that I think changed all of our lives forever. A young boy went missing and his dad let us know he was worried and asked us to help him look for him. Some of my cousins looked through the woods in the area for him and most of us looked in the water. About ten minutes after the dad noticed he was missing, Mario (Jennifer's husband) found the 7 year old in the water. Benj immediately started CPR and continued for the next 45 minutes until the ambulance arrived, but it was too late and he did not survive. I don't think any of us had experienced anything like that before. After many tears and questions, it all comes back to "God is in control and He is good." We'll never understand why things like this happen, but we will continue to give Him the glory.

Dominick Jordan Orion Chambers
May 4, 2001 - July 12, 2008

2008-07-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

I was driving in the car today and the song "Start Livin'" (country) came on. One line in the song says, i'm gonna "laugh til it hurts" and since I heard it I have been trying to remember the last time I laughed til it hurt. I can't and thats sad. So maybe some of you guys could share with me the last time you laughed til it hurts...then at least I will know that it happens.

So, tell me...when was the last time you laughed til it hurt (or you cried)?

Holy Bible!

2008-07-09T07:04:00.000-07:00

My His Hill Bible in in shambles. It's been on its last leg for a long time ( I believe the book of Ephesians has been separated from the rest of the Bible for a couple of years now). So, last week I decided it was time to make the investment on a Bible that would last longer. Today I clicked the "purchase" button on this Bible and it should be arriving on Tuesday! I am stoked (my bank account isnt).

Wide-Margin Reference Edition

The NASB Wide-Margin Reference Edition is based upon Cambridge’s NASB Pitt Minion Edition. The layout and pagination of the Old and New Testaments is identical, but here the Bible text is enlarged and given the additional benefit of wide margins for note-making and the concordance is more extensive than the one used in the Pitt Minion Edition.

The Bible is printed on slightly thicker paper for greater durability, and (like all Cambridge Bibles) is sewn for increased longevity and also to enable the Bible to open and stay flat.

wide margins for personal note-making

Features of edition:

Bible paper
red-letter text
cross-references

concordance
maps
ribbon marker

My Opinion About Blogging

2008-07-07T06:41:00.001-07:00

I'm gonna make this short and sweet...

I LOVE reading people's blogs. Esspecially people that I do not get to see on a regular basis (Katie, Lisa, Merritt, etc...). I love it when people blog about those silly little things that made them laugh that day, or the thing that really annoyed them that day. I feel like it really keeps us connected, even though we aren't able to spend time together regularly.

I do not feel like the internet is a place for you to be vulnerable. A place for you to write about the emotions you are feeling about big things going on in your life. Thats what your CLOSE friends are for, and your diary...

which brings me to my next point...the article I posted. I feel like that article must have been written about non believers who journal. My journal, which I seem to only whip out from the bookshelf when I'm in the "depths of dispair", is a place for me to process my thoughts and compare them with scripture. Its a place for me to be able to say all of the things I'm talking to my Creator about and not forget what His counsel was.

To sum it up...
Journaling = Spiritual Growth Documented
Blogging = Consider it a regular newsletter :)

"Diarists"

2008-07-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

So, on my friend Lisa's blog, she posted this portion of an article that she read in the newspaper and I found it VERY interesting, so I stole it and I'm putting it on here for different readers to see....

". . .people who regularly write in diaries are more likely to suffer from headaches, sleeplessness, digestive problems and social awkwardness. Dr. Elaine Duncan of Glasco Caledonian University carried out the study to test the common belief that writing can be cathartic. 'We expected diary keepers to have some benefit,' said Dr. Duncan. Instead, they found that the diary writers had significantly more health problems than non-writers, and those who wrote about traumatic events were affected most negatively. Duncan speculated that by constantly writing about the negative events of their lives, diarists may never get over those events, and they manifest in various health disorders. 'It's probably better not to get caught in a ruminative, repetitive cycle,' she explained, adding that ' you're probably much better off if you don't write anything at all.'"

My dad and I were recently discussing the pros and cons to blogging, so mostly this is for him to read. I would love to hear others peoples opinions about blogging or writing your thoughts down in general. I will post my opinions about it all later...but go ahead and leave me comments telling me what you think the pros and cons are to writing your thoughts (especially for everyone on the internet to see).

2008-06-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

Today I spent all day relaxing at Lake LBJ with some friends. Caily has her first birthday tomorrow, so we celebrated by soaking up some sun and eating some yummy munchies all day long. It was lovely.

Miles Family!

2008-06-26T14:19:00.000-07:00

I also took pictures with Darin, Jody, and Caily the other day. I stole these pictures off of Jody's blog because I took them with her camera and I didnt have any for myself. I can't believe its been a whole year since Darin and Jody became parents. I love those guys!

Aaawwww......

2008-06-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

Just some pictures I took of my wonderful friends, Tommy and Anna! They will be getting married in October and we just wanted to have an early practice shoot for their engagement pictures (which a professional photographer is doing). But yeah...a BUNCH of the pictures turned out blurry, but here are some of the good ones.

Geocaching!!!

2008-06-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

So, pretty much since Christmas I have really been wanting to try this new "adventure" called Geocaching (if you have never heard of it, you should google it). I think my expectations were too high...or maybe my friend Bryan just chose a lame cache for us to find...but it wasn't nearly as exciting as I was expecting it to be. The cache we found was in the Bass Pro parking lot (I imagined searching for a treasure in the wilderness). We did document my virgin geocaching experience with photos though.

"His Joy Comes In The Morning..."

2008-06-16T13:39:00.000-07:00

I have noticed that the past couple of weeks I haven't been very joyful. Pretty much since I moved out of my house. Maybe its the fact that I am homeless, even though I have had fabulous roofs over my head. I feel like the past couple of weeks I have been like a zombie going through the motions of life, but not really feeling too much or caring about much. If someone were to ask me if something is wrong, I could confidently say "No, everything is going well." So why no joy?

I honestly don't know. I have been spending more time with the Lord that I typically do because I know that HE IS MY JOY. In my seeking Him, I still feel like He is holding ME at arms length. Hmmm? I am confident that I am in His will, but it seems like that is all He is giving me is just the assurance that I am doing the right thing. I want more. I want joy, excitement, passion for life...yet I'm just chillin'...obeying. Like He is waiting to see if I will continue to walk in His Truth even if I don't get to see "why." This is new to me...

The weird thing is that it is also very comforting to know that I still have not even come close to fathoming how majestic He is. He is at work all around me, and in me, even when I can't seem to "feel" it. I seem to try to make this experience that I am having with the Lord right now make sense from what I already know about Him...and I am coming to realize that God cannot be COMPLETELY conveyed on pages (not even the pages of the Bible). He is a person who is ALIVE...and I have to be in relationship with Him to learn these new things about Him. I am realizing that my Creator and Master is beyond what I can put together and make fit smoothly. He actually is pretty complex...

...yet my relationship with Him is so simple. He keeps whispering to me..."JUST LOVE ME."

so I will...I will just love Him and wait for His joy to come......:)

Fortune?

2008-06-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

When I was packing up everything in my house, I came across this fortune from a fortune cookie that I opened a few years ago. I thought was interesting...
I actually have a lot to write about, but I can't seem to find enough time. One of these days I will get the time to "let you hear me as I am..."

"...bronze skin and cinnamon tans..."

2008-06-02T08:02:00.001-07:00

What a busy weekend! It started on Thursday when I took a group of high school girls to Mustang Island for 2 days. Jordan and I have taken turns meeting with these girls on a weekly basis since they were in the 9th grade. Now they are going to be Seniors! WOW! I wanted to do something special with them since I am moving, so we spent a couple of days at the beach. It was a great way to start the summer and our TANS!!!!

I got back from the beach on Friday night and got to work packing and cleaning right away. "Tim"(my dad) arrived at the house at 9 am and we (or shall I say he) loaded a truck and trailor with all my stuff and brought it back to San Angelo. What a great Daddy!!!!

So now I am homeless for the next two months before I actually move back to San Angelo. I will be housesitting for a large portion of the time I am still here and the rest of the time staying with my friends, Steve and Sherri!

Gotta get back to work...I do work.

Nostalgia?

2008-05-21T08:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what this feeling is that I keep having. I thought it was nostalgia, but then I looked it up and the dictionary describes it this way...

NOSTALGIA: a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

I haven't even left yet and I am already expecting to "yearn for the happiness" of living in Boerne. What kind of an attitude is that? I KNOW that the Lord is leading me to San Angelo and I am excited to see what His plans are and how He will work, but its still really hard for me to willingly walk away from the things and people that have been such a HUGE blessing in my life...the place that I have been happy and content for so long.

I will trust the faithfulness of the One who has always been faithful, I'm just admitting that it is not easy.

2008-05-16T11:16:00.001-07:00

Well, as Erin so kindly pointed out "its been ten days" since my last post, so I better get after it!

I was in Louisiana for one of my cousins wedding this past weekend. It had been two years since I had been home, so it was good to see everyone. Especially my grandparents!! The trip felt really short, but very eventful. We had rehearsal dinner Thurs night, wedding Friday night, Crawfish boil Saturday, and drive home on Sunday! FUN TIMES!

Rachel and Sarah Beth Russo

My sisters and I

Bethany singing at the wedding (in her $4 Goodwill dress...jealous!)

Jennifer (previously Russo, now Anzaldua) and I

Some good ol' family time!!

I also went to Mustang Island with friends the weekend before to celebrate my birthday! It was pretty overcast all weekend, but we managed to enjoy ourselves. We camped out on the beach in tents!!!!!! The only type of camping I truly enjoy.

2008-05-06T07:40:00.000-07:00

So today I was riding in the car with one of the students from my youth group and the song "Stronger Woman" by Jewel came on the radio.

The girl I was riding with was like, "Oh, I love this song!" I asked her why and she said, "It just makes me want to be a better person." Hmmm...she picked the wrong person to say that to. I ended up preaching for like the next 10 minutes. I was like, "Ok! Let's talk about these lyrics!"

I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else ("But realize this, that in the last days, difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...holding to a form of godliness, although having denied its power..." 1 Tim. 3:1-5)
Believe in me, even if someone cannot see ("Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." Prov. 3:5)
Theres a stronger woman in me
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Stay with me til the end
Wont lose myself again, never, no! (""For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." Matt. 16:25)
Cause there's a stronger woman
A stronger woman in me

It's crazy how something can sound so sweet to our ears and make us feel so empowered...but at the same time completely contridicts God's Word. It challenged me (and hopeful this younger woman) to really know the Word of God.

Jeremiah 17:5-8
This is what the Lord says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.
But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Teenagers are hilarious!!!!

2008-05-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

I'm having a really busy day at work today, but I wanted to take a moment to share these videos.

Last night we had a service project with the youth group. The students had to have a permission slip signed by a parent to participate. I was nominated to stay behind with the students who did not have their forms signed. These videos show a little bit of why they should never leave me in charge again!!! Ha ha...BOYS ARE CRAZY!!!!

Choas in the HUB
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Hula Disaster
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2008-04-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Last night the youth group went did outreach instead of having teaching time in small groups. That means a break for me, since I teach a small group every Wednesday night (usually). I went with a group of about 20 students to Morningside Ministries to play bingo. Turns out the students outnumbered the elderly by at least 3 to 1. A couple of the sophmore guys and I ended up playing scrabble with a couple of ladies and I learned a lot. I learned that "jo" is a word meaning sweetheart, and that "et" is the past tense of eat ("have ya'll et yet?")...I also learned that only an hour of my time could mean the world to one lonely brother or sister in Christ. I think I will go back to play scrabble sometime on Sundays (thats when they play for real)...I can probably still learn plenty about scrabble and about life.

2008-04-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

I'm just learning how to add pictures to this thing. I hate feeling like a mom learning to text!

MOVING!!!!

2008-04-22T08:29:00.000-07:00

I sent this email to a lot of people back in February, but this is for those of you who didn't recieve it. SORRY ITS SO LONG!!!
____________________________________________________________________

A lot of you have probably already heard that I have made the decision to move back to San Angelo in June. If not, then…SURPRISE! I’m moving back to San Angelo in July! It’s been really hard for me to answer the question “Why?” because I don’t fully understand myself “why” God would call me to leave my life that I love here in Boerne, but I would like to try and explain to you guys the process that brought me to this decision and hopefully that will clear up any confusion or misunderstandings about me leaving.

Get ready, this is going to be LONG…Since I finished interning at the church in August and started back at my preschool job, I have been very aware that I was in the wrong place. I kept thinking that God had something else for me, but I just didn’t know what. It kind of excited me. Of course I had MY ideas of what God would want for me, which involved me staying in Boerne and just having a different job. I just wasn’t sure what the job would be. In September, God spoke to me through a random acquaintance saying that He had big plans for me, but I would have to stop being scared to step out of my comfort zone. I had to stop assuming that I knew God’s best for me. I had been clearly telling God, “I will quit teaching preschool if that’s what you are asking me to do, as long as…” and I had a long list of stipulations, or “signs” that it was what God wanted me to do. I started asking God to bring back that desire in me to be set apart, to live to the standard that He was calling me to live to. I told God that I was willing to do anything as long as He would just use me for His glory. I just wanted my life to be used for His honor.

Well, as usual, He had a plan that I did not see coming. I started thinking about all of the possibilities that being open to ANYTHING could bring. I explored a few different options and wrestled with the idea that if God called me away from Boerne, would I be willing to go? If the best way for me to glorify Him is somewhere else, could I leave my life here? I thought that was going to be the toughest decision to make, but I came to a place where I could surrender all. I remember lying in bed after reading an email from a friend talking about a job in California and saying outloud, “I’ll go anywhere you ask me God. I just want to be a part of what you are doing.” Yikes!!!!

The month of December was a tough one for me. I just kept seeing more and more how I was not living to the potential that God had given me. I get pretty discouraged with myself. I thought I had given up, but nothing was happening and I felt like I was never going to leave the season of questioning.

Then I went home for Christmas…I was so ready to get away from my everyday life and spend a few days just seeking God. Maybe this would be a time for me to get some sort of direction. My time with my family was very eventful and I felt like I was starting to more and more grumpy because I just wanted to spend that time by myself seeking God. I was really annoyed that I had to keep having “family time.” I had more important things to worry about. One night, I finally got some time alone and I began to read…I don’t think I have ever heard the Holy Spirit so clear before…”Rachel, pay attention! The only way for you to become the woman I desire you to be is if you stop running. You started running years ago when you walked right out from under the authority that I placed over you in your family (my dad). You decided you had your own plans.” God just showed me very clearly that for me to be the wife and mother that He someday wants me to be, I have to be willing to submit to the authority of my father first. What some may see as an independent spirit in me, God has shown me is rebellion. I want to make it right.

I went on for a few weeks trying to “convince” God that I could stay in Boerne and still align myself under my father’s authority again. God said, “NO.” So, I’m packing up and heading back home. I have no idea what to expect. Not sure where I will work or where I will live, but there is this overwhelming peace I have knowing that if I am obedient God will bless that.